Dear Reader,
What do you like to talk about? When you’re with your friends hanging out or meeting new people, how do you relate? What are your go to conversation topics? Does it depend on what’s trending? Or are you full of stories from a wild life?
The reason I ask is because I’ve interacted with a lot of people lately who start things off by talking about work. They ask what I do, tell me their employment status, and seem to want to bond over a shitty boss or not enough PTO. This has left me wondering if work is the only thing people have going for themselves and therefore all they have on their mind. When I’m out for drinks with new people, I find myself lost in a sea of occupation as if nothing else takes up their time.
Currently, I’m unemployed and applying to jobs at the intersection of writing and social justice. When I say this to people who don’t know me well, they proceed with more questions about what I do as if my profession is how I define who I am as a person. “What were you doing before?” “What kinds of jobs?” “What do you hope to be?” It’s as if my identity is hidden away in types of employment and their way of getting to know me is to pick a part my resumé.
Truth be told, I hope to be left alone by people so entrenched in a capitalist society that they can only relate when the dollars make sense. Every friendship I have has been formed based on passions and interests and shared experiences—all unrelated to the workplace. We talk about books that we’re reading, dates we’ve gone on, how our families are doing, and most importantly how we’re doing.
So, when you’re out to dinner with someone new, what’s your go to question to ask? Do you inquire about how their day went or what they did over the weekend? Do you ask about the last place they traveled or what they like to watch on TV? Or is your first question related to work, what they do, how they make money?
I think it’s a problem in Western society—being so entrenched in our careers that we forget to have lives outside of work. We lose hobbies, passions, and weekend activities all to rest and recover from the hours we spend trying to build a 401k and save for retirement. Unfortunately, when that day comes our bodies will no longer be in the same state they were in our 20s and 30s. Adventures may be limited and experiences reduced to what we’re capable of.
We’re able to do a lot more than work and taking the time to do other things leads to new conversations to be had—more to share and more to learn. It’s hard not to fear the implications of taking some focus away from a job and putting it towards something else. But it’s an opportunity to branch out, find joy, and create purpose unrelated to economics.
We all have a lot to offer besides what we do,
S.E. Dillard