Dear Reader,
Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to say when emotions are running high. Our minds go faster than our mouths and having a cohesive train of thought is difficult. Not all sentences have to make sense together when putting on paper how you’re feeling in the moment. I had a difficult few days a week or so ago and had to listen to some music while processing what I was experiencing.
There’s been a lot on my mind…
I have something to say like bees, going to sting and losing their ring but this has been weighing on me. I tried to forgive but that’s not always possible. You reach out without an answer and have to leave it up to the ether. No wings can take can me fluttering to where you are but at least I can write these words here for some sound. All I ever wanted was your time and company but the space you asked for isn’t temporary.
I see a horizon where times are brighter, neither of us fighters but a conversation. Negativity doesn’t last forever as much as we think it does. Don’t stop dreaming about happy times and where we’ve been, all the activities and drives through cities. Floating on wings to where we want to be. It’s still possible if we just believe.
Planting seeds until flowers grow, this is all I know. Getting my words out in more than a sorry. But you have to accept me when I’m not not at my best. Smoking weed to relax and reading a book slowly to enjoy each page like it’s my last.
Let’s coincide and decide where to go from here. Is it you or is it me? Both. But the days apart aren’t going to make anything stop. I’d put my money on forever but I don’t like to gamble on shitty weather. Let’s take each day as it comes and always hope we’re basking in the sun.
To trying things again,
S.E. Dillard